Last Friday, we said goodbye to Calli. She was such a sweet dog. She entered my life before Woody or the kids. I had her for over 10 years (before I owned a digital camera which is why I only have a few pictures of her to upload). She provided so much companionship for me when I lived alone, then she welcomed everyone that entered our lives. She was so sweet with Bruiser when he came to us. Really, she was sweet with all little dogs, rolling over on her back and letting them crawl and fall all over her. She had the most gentle little kisses to give when she was being petted.
She loved to go camping and fishing. She would stand in the water and watch the minnows swim around her. Then she was dive in and try to catch them. She would do that for hours, or until it was time to get into the canoe and move on to the next "fishing hole".
She loved to walk and run with us, so much that sometimes she wandered off on her own for a few hours, but always came home (I assume because she knew where to find the food). She loved to play and fetch when she was little, although those times waned when she got older. She loved Woody and was so sweet to Riley and Jude, letting them "pet" her (or smack her with their hands before being reminded about "gentle hands"). She loved to chase after any ball that was being used for a game of catch.
I had trouble getting good pictures of her because any time I was on her level, she took that to mean "lap time", not picture time. She was definitely a 50 pound lap dog and loved to stealthily crawl up into your lap.
On Friday I held her as she fell asleep. She was so peaceful; no pain, no worries. The vet and her staff were so sweet and sensitive in this difficult time. I sat and petted her body which truly looked like she had just fallen asleep. I mourned her sweet temperament and unconditional love. I responded in a way that was unexpected. I knew it was coming, she was old and her quality of life was not what it once was. But an era with her was ending. I've never had a dog for that long. I've never loved a dog from birth to death. The gravity of the situation was starting to set in. I said Goodbye to my sweet Calli and tried to find my way out of the office through tear filled eyes, holding an empty dog leash.
The kids mourned her in their own ways. Jude asked if she had found Maddy in heaven yet, my parents German Shepherd who went on during the summer. Beyond that, I don't think he truly understands. Riley coped by first crying (so heartbreaking that she grasped the permanence of the situation and responded with tears), then playing "Bruiser and Calli" with her toys. Bruiser (a star) got to play around the room while Calli (a butterfly) was in heaven, under her covers, because we know she is there, but we just can't see her yet. Woody won't talk about it, for fear that his emotions will overcome him. She was still mostly a puppy when we started dating, so he has been there through the bulk of her life.
Bruiser spent two days crying in the backyard, no doubt wondering where his life companion has gone. Being with him makes me sad, but it's also healing for my soul. I have spent more time with him in the last three days than I have in a while. I am trying to find our new normal. I have found that he loves being the center of attention and will run next to me as long as I am willing to keep running.
Mourning my first fur baby is so much harder than I imagined. Surely there will be others, but this girl will always hold a special place in my heart. Bye Calli girl, until we meet again.
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